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Produced by Klutz and Michael Tebinka / Deadpixel © 2008 Klutz and Michael Tebinka / Deadpixel

A Social Klutz...

Although I am as good as perfect in all ways, I do have one minor black mark: I can’t pull off a proper first handshake. Being able to conduct a stubborn, effective hand clasp is a vital requirement for manhood, which is why I still ride a bike with training wheels at the age of twenty-two (nothing but kidding I drive the new and improved 150cc Pulsar...) A formal handshake has more than a dozen steps, but I rarely manage to pull off more than one or two of them before my attempt at an resources, masculine greeting degrades into spot more than awkward hand-holding. The unruly lies mostly with my total lack of communal grace, but I also place some of the blame on whoever incontestable that such a complicated process was the best way to originate yourself to another human being. If it was up to me, the official way to make a new associate would be to point at them from a safe distance and maybe offer a friendly grunt or a chortle. Alternatively a namaste should also do. Unfortunately, mankind’s have need of to form an instant opinion of a new telephone would still be present, meaning that even my point-and-grunt/signification-and-chuckle technique or the namaste preoccupation would eventually become just as nuanced and overanalyzed as the latest handshake system. The rigidness of the pointing have a hand in and the manliness of the grunt or the funniness of the crowing would be under the microscope or the symmetry of the hands folded in occurrence of namaste. It would be used to assess your value as a philanthropist being, which quite frankly seems a lot more fair than evaluating alien factors like the content of one’s hieroglyph. The more someone knows about me, the more likely they are to join one of the many groups caring to my destruction. My best chance at survival is to fool people into forming a good first idea of me and then never talking to them again. In this, at times, I succeed; not of my exceptional ofcourse...

Unfortunately, making a commendable first impression...